


Disquieting Silence

by Christina786



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:14:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21973420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christina786/pseuds/Christina786
Summary: Rey is left with a disquietingly silent force bond, Poe and Finn with the politics of rebuilding a new republic and all of them with responsibilities they never imagined having.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	1. Ripples

It was way too silent. For the past months, there had always been the underlying humming of Kylo Ren’s anger, but where it had been, there was nothing more than serene silence. It drove her mad. Kylo’s welling emotions and Ben’s confusion had been a constant companion for her own conflicting feelings and a welcome distraction from them to be quite honest. Now that everything was over, she had to deal with her own thoughts and emotions, which seemed the hardest task she had to accomplish yet. Fighting for the rebellion, having a mission, never stopping to think about herself and what she would be doing afterwards had been easy. Dealing with life after the war had ended was a whole different challenge. She could not go back to her life as a scavenger on Jakku, it felt too lonely now she had known friendship and love. And there was the added problem of everybody looking to her when it came to finding a new direction they should take the galaxy.

  
“Poe, I am not a politician. In fact, I am very bad at politics. You know that!” she replied when Poe asked her how she would go about building a galactic senate.

  
His dark eyes looked desperate. “You know, who you are talking to? The guy who likes to blow up things in his X-wing. We never once stopped to think what we would do if we won and would not have General Leia to look to for leadership.”

  
Finn had been silent the whole time, while they had been arguing about the interim senate they were going to build. The leaders of the rebellion, the ones who had known how things had been in the Old Republic, they would have known better how to lead a galaxy than an X-wing pilot, the last Jedi and a defected Stormtrooper. But surprisingly enough, Finn smiled.  
“So, it is settled. None of us want to lead a new republic. That means we need to find people who are willing to do so. It means we need to find a planet where we can hold a galactic senate. It means we need to help the worlds govern themselves.”

  
Poe groaned. “And how do we do THAT? I don’t even know where to start with this whole mess.”

  
Rey shook her head. “Boys, I think we need a break. We have been going in circles for hours and I am getting hungry.”The two looked at her with dark circles beneath their eyes. As long as there had been fractions of the First Order to hunt down, they had been in their element, but right now they were as far out of their depth as they could be. “And get some sleep, guys, you look like you haven’t slept in weeks.”

  
Poe threw a sidewards glance to Finn “That’s the pot calling the kettle black, don’t you think?”

  
Rey gave them a small smile. “It’s hard to sleep when it’s all too quiet in the galaxy.”

  
Finn’s hand found her shoulder. “You know you are not alone. If you need to talk, we are here.”

  
Poe on the other hand scoffed. “For me it is far too loud out there. Everybody asking questions I don’t know the answers to.”

  
Rey hugged Finn and then Poe “Let’s get some rest, everything is easier when you can see it with new eyes.”

*

She retired to her small quarters and sat down on her narrow bed, resting her elbows on her knees and burrying her face in her hands. She had rarely ever felt so alone while being with her friends.

  
Once again she felt into the void that had been the force bond, only to feel a small ripple within. She had sensed these ripples before, but nothing ever came of them. It was really just a small change, like a light breeze in between gusts of wind on a stormy day. If she didn’t keep feeling out for it, she probably wouldn’t even notice these shifts and changes. So, she had started telling herself that it was only her, tearing at the seams of the bond to feel something. She sighed and let herself sink backwards. But when she was just about to fall asleep, a wave in the force bond hit her. She sat up immediately. It was like the old times, shortly before Ben appeared. But as she looked around her room, there was nobody. Frustrated that she had fooled herself into dreaming that he might be there, she dropped back onto the bed, once again wide awake. Another ripple. She didn’t even open her eyes this time, only pinched the bridge of her nose. Why was there no one there anymore who could tell her how to deal with this? Suddenly a crash and a wave and the sound of her books falling from the shelf to the floor. She sat up again. Had she made them fall of the shelf? She kept still, body and mind, careful not to stir up the Force where she was. Another book dropped from the shelf. A sense of excitement grew in her. She was now positive that something or rather someone tried to make contact. And pretty clumsily at that. She broke into a grin. “Ben.” She whispered. Another book dropped.

  
“You do realise that these are the last books of the Jedi and Master Yoda would not be too happy if they got destroyed?”

  
The cup on her nightstand moved and then hurtled itself down to the floor. At its impact with a lound clanging sound, Rey was relieved that it was made from metal. But her grin grew wider and wider.  
Something in the Force tried to physically manifest itself and she was pretty sure who it was. Only could be. The disturbance in the Force was over shortly after that realisation, but Rey fell asleep with a small smile on her lips and slept quietly for the first time in weeks.


	2. Hux missing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe wakes up and finds himself thinking about things he really doesn't want to think about.

Poe was many things, but he was not made for this. He was sure of it. Him being in charge of the rebuilding of a galactic alliance was a joke, and not a funny one at that. He’d probably destroy the fragile beginnings of this new alliance just after they had saved the galaxy from the brink of destruction. But everybody kept looking at him, he couldn’t lose his bravado now. He wouldn’t. He might not be the right man for this, but he had run away from his life once, and while – in hindsight – it had been the best decision he had ever made, it had cost him his friends and chosen family. It was also what had brought him to this point and that was just it. He had deserted his friends to follow his beliefs in what was right and now he had the chance of a lifetime to actualise his image of a just society. A society that held equal opportunities for everybody. If they could just stop looking at him like he knew how to make it happen, that would be great.  
He sighed and turned around in his bed, facing the empty wall.

He missed Hux. A weird thought that popped up every once in a while. The gingerhaired general had been a tangible enemy, crossing Hux’ plans had been a surefire way to probably do the right thing. He wondered how Hux had known what to do. That brat had always seemed so sure of himself and professional, even with Ren and Snoke breathing down his neck. After finding out he had been their spy in their final battle, Poe's respect for him had grown exponentially. Sure, he had said, it was because he really wanted Kylo Ren to lose, but Poe knew a lie, when he heard one. No one in their right mind risked their life just to cross someone’s plan. Yes, he himself had been known for doing this on several occasions, but always because he had believed in something greater than himself. Hux had not been willing to see the galaxy suffer under Emperor Palpatine. He had finally managed to break free from his father’s hold. It tugged on Poe’s heartstrings that he had never got the chance to simply talk to Armitage Hux. They had seemed polar opposites, but then again, how much of Poe’s impulsiveness had been sleeping within the general, who had had to learn to control himself and his feelings since he had been a child? Poe was sure, more than they had believed. He groaned. He wasn’t really mourning the loss of Hux now, was he? He suddenly broke into a grin at the thought of Armitage trying to adjust to living with the resistance. They should have taken him with them when they had the chance. He might have been a good resource when it came to leading people. Then again, his people skills had been atrocious. And they wanted to build a democracy, not an empire. There where slight differences when it came to leadership qualities between the two. He shook his head. This wouldn’t help him. He and Finn had to find a way to get this thing going. He needed to be rid of the responsibility. Before the battle at Exegol, someone had actually asked him if he should be flying his X-Wing into battle, because he could get hurt. And he had noticed people trying to keep him from flying or taking smaller missions ever since. 

“Well, no time like the present” he said aloud and got up to get breakfast at the cantina.  
When he arrived there, he found Finn and Rey, the first still looking restless and haunted, the latter looking well-rested and hopeful. He cocked an eyebrow and his mood took a slight turn for the worse. He hated morning people. Especially now, when he had woken up to missing Armitage Hux. He took his time to get coffee and some food and sat down next to them.  
  
“Good morning, I guess you haven’t found a solution to our problem yet?” Finn asked bluntly. He looked just as worn out as Poe felt.  
  
He sighed. “Not in the last eight hours, no. You know what we need, though? We need help. And I need to do something stupid and reckless soon, if I have to sit through one more meeting.”  
  
Finn chuckled. “You need to do something stupid and reckless just to stay sane anyways, what are you going to do in a new kind of society? With no First Order ships to shoot at, things to blow up or Hux to make fun of?”  
Poe threw Finn a dark look that seemed to say “I know, right?” That kid, had he read his mind?  
  
Rey smiled at them. “Let’s stop trying to solve this on our own. Let’s invite the representatives of the remaining worlds to a first meeting on Chandrila. After all, the treaty between the Empire and the New Republic was signed there, it carries history. And the Chandrilans are interested in politics, something we might find useful.”  
  
Finn looked at her with astonishment. “Why didn’t we think of it?”  
  
Poe shrugged. “Probably because we never wanted to surrender to boredom. Chandrilans are…as you said, they consider politics an interesting subject.”  
  
Rey smiled at him. “But you can fly us there.”  
  
Poe’s look probably said it all. It wasn’t the same. But he gave a nod. “It’s presumably the best place to start. Let’s take the rest of the Rebellion there. Someone will have ideas, maybe someone will feel inspired to serve their homeworld or the whole galaxy.” And take this thing off his hands. He really didn’t understand why someone in his right mind would want to rule the galaxy, but then again, based on the legends, Palpatine had been banta-shit crazy.

Finn smiled at Rey. “You look happy this morning, what is up with that?”  
  
The girl shrugged. “Just had a good night’s sleep, I guess. It helps a lot.” Poe could see there was something she wasn’t telling them, but then again, he was used to it by now. She and her jedi stuff went way over his head anyway.  
  
“Where is Rose at, I haven’t seen her in days?” Rey suddenly asked.  
  
Finn sighed. “We had the talk. I think she needs some time to adjust, but will be back to her old self soon enough.”  
  
Poe frowned. “What talk?”  
  
Rey and Finn looked at him incredulously. “You never noticed?” Rey then asked.  
  
Poe shrugged. “Noticed what?”  
  
Rey shook her head in disbelief. “You are so daft sometimes. Rose had a crush on Finn.” Poe could see Finn getting a little flustered. For some reason he thought it was adorable. But then…  
  
“Wait, what?!”  
  
Finn gave a curt nod. “And while I really love her as a friend, I don’t… I mean… I don’t feel the same. And I had to tell her.”  
  
“How did she take it?” Rey asked concerned.  
  
Finn’s face turned sad. “As she always does, she understood and made a brave face. But I know she doesn’t feel as good as she wanted to make me think.”  
  
Poe looked at him. “How do you know that? Maybe she really is okay with it.”  
  
Finn looked at Rey. “Just a feeling.”  
  
Poe groaned. “I hate it when you do that, do you know that? You always look at her like she knows something I don’t.”  
  
Rey chuckled. “It’s called empathy, Poe, look it up.”  
  
“I am a very empathetic man.”  
  
“Sure you are, buddy, you sure are.” Finn grinned.


	3. Tales of Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose reflects on what has been lost. And Rey finally lets herself grieve.

Rose was working with Chewie on fixing the Falcon. Luckily enough, the ship had come out of the battle relatively unharmed. Relatively in this case meaning in comparison with several other times, when Chewie or Han, back in the day, had been sure, there was not enough left to fix. They were a good team and Rose had come to appreciate the company of the Wookie. He had some interesting stories to tell if you had the time and patience to listen to him. And right now, there was nothing better to get her mind of other things. She tried to be positive, she had survived the war. Of course, she had lost her sister and was unsure what was going to happen with her, with them, but she was alive and well.

Chewie growled at her.

“Yes, Chewie, give me a moment, you keep forgetting that I can’t reach as high as you.”

She tried to grab the oil can, he had left on a shelf, slightly out of her reach. On her toes and stretching as much as she could, she almost had it, when Chewie came over and just took it. He chuckled.

“Very funny. And very mature. We’ll talk again next time when you need someone to get into that crawl space.”

Chewie’s big paw came to land on her shoulder and he squeezed her to him.

“Yes, I like you too. You are like that big brother who always messes with you.” With one last ruffle of her hair, Chewie disappeared back into the belly of the Falcon.

“Seems like you swapped us for Chewie, look at you two getting along!” she heard Rey’s voice behind her. Rose could not help but wonder, how the girl stayed so chipper. She sat down on a box beneath the wing of the ship.

“Finn told you, didn’t he?” she asked.

Rey smiled sadly. “He did. But he also told me that he doesn’t want to lose you.”

“He won’t. I just need a couple of days. It has been a lot. Like, we never stopped to mourn our losses, did we? The death of my sister still feels fresh, because I never dealt with it in all this madness. This, this Finn thing is just… it is not the reason I avoided you. It was just the catalyst. There’s a lot of stuff I need to work through, a lot of things to come to terms with. I am now not only an orphan, but I have lost my entire family.”

Rey smiled at her, the sadness behind the smile deepening. “I wish I could tell you it gets better, but it never really does. You just learn to live with the pain.” She unceremoniously plunked down at Rose’s side. Rose was always taken aback by how ungraciously Rey could move sometimes when in the next moment she looked like she was dancing with the Force. Sometimes it was hard to remember that first and foremost, Rey was also just human.

Rose swallowed. She didn’t know if she was allowed the question. “But how are you holding up? With Leia gone. And Han. And Luke. And… and…”

“Ben?” Rey asked, still smiling but betrayed by the glinting in her eyes.

“Ben. Yes. How do you keep smiling?”

Rey shrugged. “I don’t know. I just… sometimes I have the feeling they are still here with me. And in a way they are.”

Rose shook her head. “I guess I should be considering myself lucky that I still have all of you. All the people that are like family to me. Chewie told me the other day how hard it is sometimes. Almost everybody he had held dear has died. Ever since he met Han, they only spent a couple of times apart. They were like brothers. Leia was like his sister. He doesn’t really know what to do or where to go next.”

Rey’s smile was gone and she gave a silent nod. “I know. I asked him if he wanted to join us in rebuilding the new alliance, but… he said he wasn’t sure. He was not the type for politics.”

Rose giggled. “Well, he is kind of right. We only ever talk about Han Solo being a scoundrel, but Chewie was right there with him. And he even encouraged Han at times. It’s not like he has a white vest.”

Rey grinned. “You never blame the Wookie, because he looks so big and cuddly, but boy, can you go wrong with that.”

“Okay, I missed you.” Rose said to Rey and nudged her shoulder.

Rey looked at her, her smile fading. “I missed you, too.” And she nudged her back. “Are you going to come with us? We are going to Chandrila, assembling all the free worlds that want to join us in a galactic alliance.”

“An alliance, hu?” Rose asked.

“Yes, Poe says, he does not want anyone to feel like we are governing them, he wants to build an alliance of free and democratic worlds. He does not want to force worlds to join us and he thinks alliance sounds like they have more freedom to govern themselves. And it won’t be as much of a fuss, because we won’t have to address smaller problems on the homeplanets in a council way removed from them.”

“Wait, Poe said all that?” Rose asked, seemingly impressed.

“Yes, he seems to have a pretty clear-cut picture of how he wants this alliance to look. Funnily enough, he is the one who swears he is not good at politics.”

“Oh, I am so going with you! I have to witness Politician Poe in action! Also, you could use a mechanic with his flight style.”

“You mean his kamikaze flying?” Rey laughed and Rose joined her in her burst of laughter.

After a while, the two women looked at each other. “You evaded my question before. How are you doing, Rey?”

There was compassion in Roses voice, so much so, that Rey had difficulties meeting her eyes. “It’s a long story and I am not sure if you really want to hear it.”

Rose snorted. “I’ve been listening to Chewbacca’s stories for three days now, I am glad if you talk to me in something else than Shiiriwook.”

It was Rey’s turn to snort. “Okay, but I warned you. And don’t judge, everything is not always as it seems.” Rey only now realised that those two parts of her life in the last months had been completely apart from each other. Of course most people knew that Kylo Ren was Leia’s and Han’s son by now, but she had never told anyone about their force bond, about them being a dyad. And it felt good to unpack all that to somebody else, who just listened. Also, she realised, speaking about it made it real. Before that, she had always felt a little like she had awoken from a dream.

When she reached the point where she died, Rose gasped. “That was what Finn felt when he was trying to blow up the antenna tower!”

“He did?”

“Yes! Janna asked me if that happened to him often. She said he was absolutely shaken.”

“I need to talk to Finn.”

“But first you need to tell me how you are sitting right here in front of me after you died!” Rose said.

Rey gave a little laugh, then she blushed, before she told Rose the rest of the story.

“Noooo! He died? I mean, I know he died, but…that’s not how this was supposed to end! How could he just die like that?”

Rey wore her brave little smile and looked down. “Yeah. He…saved me and just…faded into nothing. And ever since, it has been unbelievably quiet in my head, in the bond. I always try to feel if there is something of him left and sometimes I feel a flicker of him, but… he is not there. I might be imagining things.”

Rose gave her a hug, which Rey gratefully accepted, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell Rose about last night. Rose might think she was crazy. And suddenly, the tears came. She had not allowed herself to grieve over Ben, but now that she had finally told somebody, she did. Rose hugged her closer as she sobbed and when Rey looked up, she could see that Rose had tears in her eyes as well. They all had lost someone. This new alliance would have to be built on the hope that nothing like this would ever happen again.


	4. Signs of distress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The former Resistance receives a distress signal from the Outer Rim. Of course Poe and Finn cannot be stopped.

Finn was sitting over a cup of tea and a bunch of First Order reports they had rescued out of the debris of the Steadfast, when he heard a knock on the post of the tent that was his makeshift quarter. Rey slept in the Falcon, some of the Resistance in the debris of older, crashed ships, some in tents. He had spent enough time in his life in the claustrophobic and cold confines of space craft, so he had chosen a tent in the base camp. They hadn’t left camp for long, even after the final battle had been fought and the Final Order destroyed. This had been their interim home for a while now, so they were hesitant to give it up. He looked up and sighed, but then shoved away the reports on deserted Stormtroopers.

“Yes?”

The tent flap was opened by a confused looking Commander Connix, who almost shut it on him again.

“I’m sorry, I should not have…General Dameron…asleep, well, he was asleep…”

Finn looked down and realised with a start that he was wearing only boxershorts, as he had just dropped down to drink his morning tea after he had woken up. He coughed slightly uncomfortably, then he tried to keep on his most serious “General Finn”-face.

“Oh, don’t worry Commander. What is it that brought you here?”

She looked sternly at the tent wall behind him. “We picked up an old First Order emergency signal from one of the planets on the Outer Rim. It’s definitely outdated, so we cannot tell whose call sign it might be. We were not sure how to respond, sir.”

He felt slightly amused about the way she called him “sir” while he was lounging around in his underwear.

“We see if we can make out the signal’s origin and see if maybe there is someone in danger we can help. Don’t we always do it like this?”

“But what if it is a trap?”

“Well, we’ll be careful.”

“We, sir?” Commander Connix asked and Finn could see her discomfort clearly. She did not want to tell him that he and Poe couldn’t go on that mission. But she also didn’t want to endanger both Generals. Or either one to be honest.

“Yes, I need to get out. And Poe is driving himself, me and everybody else up the walls. Trust me, it will be the best for our morale.”

Connix sighed. She knew that she could not keep those two grounded. But maybe…

“And don’t even think we will take a guard with us.”

She made a face and cursed under her breath.

“I know, Kaydel, I know.” He laughed, as she turned around on her heel.

After he had put on clothes, he made his way to Poe’s quarters, which were in the wreckage of an old troop transport. He did not bother to knock.

“Poe, you up?”

He heard a ‘thump’ and low cursing. Poe had probably hit his head again on the lamp over his bed.

When he looked into Poe’s bedroom, sure enough, the pilot stared angrily at the swinging lamp over his bed and rubbed the back of his head.

“What?!” he asked, rather moody.

“I got news. Exciting news.” Finn grinned.

“Tell me right away, don’t say anything about good, bad or which one I wanna hear first. Shoot.” Finn might have been more accurate than he had thought when he had told Kaydel that they needed this field trip.

“We received a distress signal. Outdated First Order call signal, so it is unclear who is trying to make contact. Might be people from the First Order, might be somebody else who found the radio. Somebody”, Finn made a pronounced stilistic pause, “has to go find out.”

There was a glitter in Poe’s eyes, a shine. He looked up at Finn, his eyes filled with hope. “Please tell me you told Connix we are going.”

“I told Connix we are going.”

“And we are not taking a guard.”

“And we are not taking a guard.” Finn grinned.

Poe jumped up and hugged Finn tight. “I kind of love you right now!” Poe said and pressed a wet kiss on Finn’s cheek. Finn chuckled, even though he pulled a face.

“I know, I know. I’m already counting the hours until we get into a tight situation and you hate me for bringing you.” He said, patting Poe’s back.

“Won’t happen. I’d prefer dying in a trash compactor to the whole politics spiel right now.”

Finn knew exactly what Poe was talking about. It was about time to get out and about again. The lure of adventure. When he had left the First Order, all he had wanted was peace and quiet. Now he realised that quiet could become uncomfortable pretty soon.

They ran into trouble, though. They needed a ship that wasn’t Poe’s X-Wing, in case they had to rescue people. He would have to talk to Rose anyway, he did not want to lose her in the proccess of building a new galaxy just because he didn’t feel for her the same way she did. She was an important part of his life, had taught him invaluable lessons. He shook his head. If they wanted to stay in contact, they could. The things they had gone through together would stay with them for the rest of their lives and had formed them into who they were now. He quickly made his way to the makeshift hangar area, where he was sure he’d find Rose.

“Hey!” he heard her voice right behind him, as he was looking around for her.

As he turned around quickly and grinned at her, she grinned right back at him. “What brings you here?” she asked.

“First, I wanted to see if you are okay. If we are okay.”

She made a face. “Of course we are. I just needed some time to myself, but that had nothing to do with you. Or not only with you. But what else drove you here? Politics getting too stressfull? Need an escape pod?”

“Close, I need a ship.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “What do you need a ship for, I doubt Connix will let you leave anywhere without half an army. Plus, you are a mediocre pilot at best.”

“I already talked to her and she knows, she can’t stop us. And I’m taking Poe. Alliance business. And...hey, unfair!”

Rose snorted, brushing his objection aside. “Okay, you need to blow off some steam, why didn’t you say that right away? Where are you off to?”

“We received a distress signal from Arkanis. We need to check if there are people in danger. It is an outdated First Order signature, which makes no sense since Arkanis was in the hands of the Republic for a long time. Unless, someone needed to flee from the First Order. Which is why we need to go.”

Rose looked at him for a long time. “You are still looking for other defected Stormtroopers, aren’t you? What if it is a trap, Finn?”

“We’ll be careful.”

“You are going with Poe ‘danger is my second name’ Dameron. I am coming with you. Somebody needs to stay calm and collected on this trip. Also, I might have just the right ship for you. Just fixed it up for you two. Lieutenant Connix figured you might need a respectable ship as generals. It’s an old Coruscantian shuttle, such a nice ship to fly, looks flashy as well, Poe will love it.”

“What will I love?” Poe’s voice came from behind.

“Your ship, General!” Rose said with enthusiasm, as she tugged on Finn’s sleeve and started dragging them in the direction of a streamlined shuttle that probably held 10 to 15 people comfortably. Poe looked at it with a cocked eyebrow.

“It’s…it’s a shuttle. This is…it’s not like I became a dad and needed a ship to transport my whole family around.” He looked a little desperate.

Rose’s face fell. “But, for a shuttle it is pretty. And wait till you fly it.” She started to gain back momentum.

Poe was still brooding over his fate of flying a family shuttle. “First, they make you Acting General, then they make you fly a family shuttle. What’s next? Seat belts?”

“It actually does have seat belts” Rose grinned.

“I hate this ship.” Poe muttered.

“It still needs a name.” Rose threw in. Maybe he liked it more if it felt more like his.

“'Armitage', we’ll call it the ‘Armitage’.” Poe decided on a whim. Fit this thing well, he had hated Hux, but he had been useful in a way. Same with this ship.

Rose looked at Finn, who shrugged. “Why 'Armitage'?” she asked.

Poe looked at her and let out an airy sigh. “I feel like 'Armitage' just fits.” Hux had kind of been a hero of the Resistance in the end. Most of the galaxy had by now heard of General Hux’ sacrifice for the Resistance. Obviously enough, only few people had known his first name, though. Or the fact that he had only betrayed the First Order to spite Ren.

Arkanis was a small planet on the outer rim; it had been home to supporters of the Empire, then went over into Republican hands, but in spite of that, there were no features worth mentioning except for a Mandalorian camp. Not much of the planet’s infratructure was left, partly due to its lack of meaning and partly because after the rise of the First Order and the fall of the New Republic, it had been a target for raids by outlaws every now and then. Shops had been plundered, the streets of the cities were filled with barricades and raiding gangs.

They landed close to the origin of the signal, which was on the outskirts of Arkanis City in an abandoned looking high rise building that had once housed a whole lot of living quarters. They looked around and Rose sighed. “We should have taken the Falcon. That pile of garbage would have blended right in. No one would think about stealing the Falcon.”

Finn and Poe shrugged. “Well, too late to change that now, right?” Poe said and led their way out of the ‘Armitage’. Still, Rose turned to Chewie, who had been Poe’s co-pilot and the only reason Connix had let them go without security, and asked him to guard the ship. The wookie wasn’t protesting as one whiff of the mean smelling air outside made him nauseous.

Finn had to admit that Chewie had a point. This planet smelled like a dumpster, and not a pretty one. More like the dumpsters in shady areas of overcrowded cities where you could never be quite sure if somebody had died in there. The former storm trooper suddenly missed his old uniform helmet that had filtered the air they were breathing so nicely.

Poe looked to him and sighed. “Why could it not have been Endor? Why did it have to be this trash planet?”

BB-8 beeped something that, like always, sounded chipper and excited. Poe looked at his droid. “Of course you don’t mind, you don’t have a nose.”

Rose chuckled and hoped that after a while their noses would just get used to the smell. “BB-8, are there any poisonous particles in the air?”

The droid ran a quick scan of the air and beeped again. The air was okay to breathe, but they should have probably thought of that before stepping out of the shuttle.

Poe sighed. “Not you, too, BB-8, not you too.”

They quickly moved toward the building and tracked the signal to a former living quarter on the third floor.

“Nobody in their right mind would go in there!” Finn claimed, but Rose pointed to recent marks that showed that the door of the house had been opened and dragged across the dirty ground.

When they got into the foyer, they saw an elevator, but Poe was quick to take the stairs. It was enough to trust the building to not come crumbling down around them, they didn’t need to press their luck and take the suspicious looking elevator. Finn sighed relieved, he wasn’t sure if they would have made it out of that thing alive. Rose simply agreed without any discussion. With each step, she fought the feeling that this was a set-up. She looked over to Finn, who seemed awfully relaxed. She envied him for that.

When they had reached the third floor, they made their way across more rubble than before and Poe, too, started to believe that the signal was either a trap or an old alarm gone off. But then they reached a closed, but recently cleaned door. Rarely had he seen anything that looked that displaced. He nodded to Finn, who drew his blaster and waved Rose behind him. Poe drew his own blaster as slowly and soundlessly as he could and when he had it out looked over to Finn, who straightened up and just knocked. Poe’s palm went straight to his own face and Rose had to surpress a laugh. But there was no time for anything else, as the well maintained doors slid open soundlessly. Both men spied cautiously around the doorframe on either side of the wall into the quarter’s living room, blasters at the ready. But nothing could have prepared Poe for the sight he beheld. It took him a moment to proccess, but huddled on the couch was a man with wild looking hair, wide eyes and his ginger beard grown overly long and out of control. Poe’s blaster clattered to the floor.

“General Hux?” he asked, his voice low and laced with disbelief.

The man just snarled: “Well, obviously, I am not a General anymore, Dameron! But if you could get me off this shithole excuse for a planet as fast as possible, that would be great.”

Finn broke into laughter at the former general’s appearance, which made Hux’s face turn even more sour.

“Oh, you think it’s funny? Try living in this hellhole for six whole weeks! Every time I believe I have finally lost my sense of smell, something comes around and makes me wish I did.”

Finn only laughed harder, but Poe felt like he was in a trance. There he was, alive and…maybe not well, but unharmed for the most part. He took a step into the room, then another toward the couch. Hux eyed him with growing suspicion and unease.

“Say, is your pal, is he okay?” Hux asked, not turning his gaze away from Poe, who kept moving closer. Rose could see how the man shrank back into the couch, seeming weary. Rose frowned as well.

“How?” Poe almost whispered as he had finally come to a halt just in front of the couch.

“We were told by a former First Order officer that Pryde shot you in the stomach. Supposedly, you were dead right away.” Rose elaborated.

Hux’s face relaxed a little. “Seems like he was wrong. I knew I was at risk. I started wearing blasterproof armour from the day I decided to help the Resistance. I have known and hated Pryde since I was a child. I knew he hated me and all he needed to shoot me was a good enough reason. So I went with a blasterproof material as my new best friend.”

“Blasterproof…?” Rose asked. She had never heard of that.

“Well, to a certain degree. Blasterfire still wounds you, but at least you don’t die directly. Lucky, he didn’t go for the head, too, and nobody checked my vital signs and wounds too thoroughly. They were too eager to tell Ren they had found the spy and then the battle happened.”

“But how did you get out?” Finn tried to imagine his escape.

“Have you ever noticed, how awfully close the hangars are to the trash compactors on these Stardestroyers? If I ever plan a new ship, remind me, not to put the hangars close to the trash compactor’s emergency exit.” There was a slightly disgusted and embarrassed look on his face. “I took a tie fighter and in the heat of the battle my escape went unnoticed.”

“How did you get out of the trash compactor? They must have deactivated your codes?” Finn seemed puzzled.

Now Hux’s bravado came back. He smiled slyly. “Oh, I have stolen Ren’s admission and emergency codes a long time ago. You never know when they might come in handy.” He seemed almost proud of himself.

Poe seemed to find back to his own self as well. “But how did you end up on this dumpster planet of all places?”

“Well, a tie fighter only has a certain flight range and…I was born here. Then it fell into the hands of the Republicans. I was pretty sure the First Order would not come looking for me here. Didn’t know the fall of the Republic had turned it into a space dumpster, though. It was a bad and sentimental decision.”

“Is this, where you grew up?” Poe’s voice was softer now.

Hux looked around and smiled sentimentally. “This very apartment, yes. Smelled better, back then, though.” He hopped off the couch. “So what about this rescue business, are you going to take me with you to whereever is not here?”

He and Poe stood almost chest to chest. Poe still looked at him as if he wasn’t real. Then he did something, nobody expected, Hux the least; he hugged the former First Order General. Hux was more than confused by the gesture, but did not push him away. Then Poe let him go and walked out the door. Finn and Rose looked after him, then at Hux.

“If you would just come with us, General.” Finn said.

Hux sighed deeply. “Armitage, the name is Armitage. I am nothing more than myself anymore. And to top it all off, I don't even know who I am without the Order.” He took an already packed backpack and slung it over his shoulder, following Poe. Rose and Finn looked at each other.

“Armitage?” Roe mouthed.

Finn shrugged. “I didn’t know either! I swear.” He whispered.

“Finn? Rose? Come on, let’s get off this stinking…”

“That’s my homeplanet you are talking about!” Hux complained.

“You called it a hellhole yourself!”

“That’s different, I get to call it what I want! I was born here.”

Rose and Finn looked at each other again and laughed quietly. This might become an interesting ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't intend for this to happen, but somehow this came out this way. Couldn't let Hux just die like that. Hux deserved a better story. Not everybody can be redeemed, but he deserved better than what happened to him in TROS.


	5. At the Other Side of Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look who the Force dragged in...

And while the others proceeded back to the “Armitage” – no one had yet told Hux about that – Rey was still back on Ajan Kloss. While the Acting Generals were away, she was the one who had to sit through hologram calls from planets far away to arrange for the first preliminary meeting of the New Alliance on Chandrila. Once they had chosen a place to meet, things seemed to fall into place and suddenly hurtle along by themselves, only with the occasional questions and requests that had to be facilitated. She had been weary that people might oppose the choice of Chandrila, as it had been witness to a few unfortunate incidents which led to the eventual downfall of the New Republic, but the opposite was the case; people were eager to build a new legacy on Chandrila and erase the dark events of the past. The idea of an Alliance as Poe had suggested also resonated with most planets’ governments, because it meant a definite departure from the micro-managing tyranny of the Empire.

But even though all this was exciting, Rey had had a long day answering all those questions and requests with the help of Kaydel and D’Arcy. She felt exhilarated, but exhausted at the same time. Only when she had returned to the Falcon and even R2-D2 and C-3PO were somewhere else helping out, did she once again realise how lonely and quiet it was in the former Force bond. It felt a little like the ends that had been firmly rooted within Ben’s life force before, were now blowing empty and loose in gale force winds. She sometimes feared that if she went too close to his end of the bond, she might be rushed away by the void at the other side. But still she caught herself creeping closer to the edge time and time again. Sometimes the little ripples turned up, but they seemed to be coming from her side of the bond. It confused her to no end. She sighed. That was probably what people called survival instinct.

She sat down to meditate, find some answers, maybe get in contact with the ones that came before her.

Ben.

But she surpressed that thought as soon as it turned up. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, just starting to reach out, when she could hear a scraping from the other side of the living quarter. A book fell down from the shelf. And suddenly, from one second to the next, the force bond was no longer untethered, but was anchored once again as it had been before. Her head shot around and there he was.

“Ben.” She whispered.

He looked amazed, then smiled down at her. But as he saw her eyes dart to the book he had just nudged off the shelf, he made a face.

“It wasn’t the most thrilling read anyways.” He shrugged and Rey’s frown turned into a full on laugh. Clumsily, she got to her feet and looked at him like he could be gone any moment. When she had gotten to her feet, she took a step toward him, but stopped herself within the motion.

“Are you…can I…what happens, when I try to touch you?” she whispered. She still didn’t dare raise her voice. She was a little anxious that this might be a figment of her wishful thinking and would go away as soon as she talked too loudly or moved too fast.

Ben looked awkwardly to the ground, his shoulders hunched over. “I don’t know. It’s new to me, too.” He seemed insecure and it made her heart ache.

She took another cautious step and extended her hand like she had done once before. He looked solid, unlike the force ghost of Luke she had seen at Ahch To. He mirrored her movement until their hands touched. He was here. His touch didn’t carry the warmth of human touch, but still he was here with her. As she looked up, she could see the smile on her face mirrored in his. Within the blink of a second, she let herself close the gap between them and hugged him tight.

“Rey…” he whispered into her hair, as he put his arms around her and breathed in her scent. He had come, he was here for her, but yet, she could not feel his warmth, could not smell him. It was a slightly unsettling feeling, but right now, it was enough. After a while, she took a step back and looked at him with wide eyes.

“How did you manage to come back?” she asked, curious, like he had been the first time they had had a connection through their bond.

“I finally figured out how to re-establish this bond, and the rest was easy, I just let it guide me.” He rested his hands firmly on her shoulders. The weight was there. She could feel it and grinned involuntarily, just because he was really here.

“But…isn’t that like… forbidden or something? Or is that even possible? Wouldn’t all Jedi just make their appearances?” she then asked, a frown moving across her face.

“Some do, but it’s”, he made a goofy face, “It’s frowned upon. Interfering with the world of the living is seen as meddling. Also, it’s not easy. It is pretty hard to be honest, needs a lot of focus. It was easier for me, because we are still bound together. I can easily find you through our bond”, his voice went low and quiet, “You shine so brightly, I can see you clearly, even from the other side.”

A fond smile played on Rey’s face and Ben was sure no one had ever looked at him like that. “I am happy you found me. I am happy you can find me now.”

He grinned. “I know.”

“It was lonely without you. Being the last one, it is not easy. I don’t even know what I am supposed to do now. Do I look for other force sensitive beings? And if I find them, what do I do?”

Ben blew up his cheeks. “Honestly, I don’t know. I have no idea, but I am sure, in time, we will figure it out.”

She grinned lopsidedly. “We?”

He gave a nod. “We. It takes me a lot of focus to stay here in the present with you, but I will always be able to find back to you.”

Rey softly touched his cheek and rose to her tip toes, to gently plant a soft kiss on his lips, which he eagerly answered. Then she pressed her face into his chest and he pressed her softly to him.

“It’s getting hard to stay”, he whispered, “but I will be there, whenever you reach out. Right there at the other side of us. And I will come and take your hand whenever you want me to.”

Rey could feel his physical presence disintegrate and was afraid that she would be alone again in a moment, but this time, as he faded, he did not leave behind the disquieting silence that had been there before. The bond was there once again. It felt different now, fainter, but it was clearly there.

She took a deep breath and then a joyful laugh bubbled up from her chest. She was no longer alone in this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This became shorter than I expected, because I decided to make the whole story longer than I expected. Also, I figured it'll take Ben a moment to figure this thing out completely and being able to stay longer.


	6. What Lies Ahead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the flight back to Ajan Kloss, there are a few questions asked and others answered.

Everybody was uncharacteristically quiet on the flight back to Ajan Kloss, Poe noticed. Except for Hux, everybody had huddled into the cockpit, but in stark contrast to their usual behavior, nobody said anything. It made Poe slightly uncomfortabe, because he was so used to the mindless chatter that usually went on. He looked over to Chewie, who threw him the same look back. Weird, hu? It seemed to say. Poe shrugged.

“Can you take her alone for a moment?” he asked his co-pilot. Chewie’s answering growl made him laugh.

“I know, big guy, you have flewn ships when I was still a wild thought in my dad’s mind.” With that he rose and let Chewie take the controls. On his way to the back of the ship, he stopped in between Rose and Finn, looking from one to the other.

“So, what are you two doing in here and not in the back?” he asked them and motioned into the direction of the passenger cabin part of the ship.

Finn shrugged and Rose made a face. “I don’t know what to talk about with him.”

Poe raised his eyebrows. “You’ve been sitting in here for a couple hours and not said anything.”

She sighed. “Yeah, but that’s…it’s…”

“That’s a whole other issue.” Finn blurted out.

Poe sat down into a squat position between them. “Oh, so what kind of issue is there?”

The two looked at each other, then at Poe. It was Rose who spoke up.

“What is it with you, that you decided to name your new ship ‘Armitage’?” she asked straight away, leaving diplomacy on the way side.

There was a noise coming from the hallway just in front of the cockpit. Then a ginger head appeared in the doorway.

“You named the ship ‘Armitage’?!”

Everybody turned around to the man they had thought was sitting in one of the passenger seats.

But Rose looked back to Poe almost immediately. “Did you know his name was Armitage?”

Poe closed his eyes and ran a hand over his face. “Yes, I knew. I thought he was dead, I thought, you were dead, okay?” he looked directly at Hux. “And I decided to call the ship that because…”

“Hux was a hero of the resistance?” Finn suggested, which made Hux almost choke and Poe scoff.

He shook his head. “Nah, it was kind of useful, but I hated it.”

Rose turned to see Hux’ reaction to this and feared for the worst, but his expression was accepting of the news, if not a little proud. “Fair point, Dameron, fair point.”

With that, Hux withdrew from sight, but Rose and Finn still stared at Poe.

“Did you get sentimental about his death, because there was no one left whose ships to blow up?” Finn asked in a slightly mocking tone.

Poe gave him the side eye and then made his way to the back of the ship. “Keep Chewie awake for me, yeah?” He said, as he left the cockpit.

He wasn’t quite sure what he had expected, but it was not a distraught looking Armitage Hux, former General of the First Order, face in his hands sitting on the couch of the ship he had never wanted, but got to fly as the Acting General of the former Resistance.

“Hux?” he asked more softly than he had intended. The man’s face lifted and he looked at Poe with tired eyes. “Are you okay?”

The ginger scoffed. “Am I okay?” his voice rose in pitch, “I fucked up, majorly! I have nowhere to go, so I am going with a former deserted Stormtrooper of mine, with his girlfriend who bit me this one time, a walking carpet and their general who hates my guts and was once my darndest enemy to I don’t even know where. I don’t even know what is going to happen with me or what my place is in all of this, what I am supposed to be and do and…this is all so…chaotic.” He sounded helpless as he pronounced the last word.

“She’s not Finn’s girlfriend.” Poe said just to say something.

Hux’ eyes fixed him with an indignant stare. “Did you even listen to me?”

Poe gave a nod. “Yes”, he said calmly, “I have. But I did not know what else to say to that. While those are all valid concerns, stop being such a self-centered prick, because if you take a look around, this is how everybody in this whole damn galaxy is feeling right now. We are all going through the same identity crisis and lack of purpose you are. It is not just you. Nobody knows where we are going from here.”

Hux rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on! Your people won, you know what you are going to do.”

Poe didn’t reply to that until Hux looked at him:

“We won, yes, but we also lost. We lost General Organa, she knew the directions, she knew what actions to take to get there. Now we are standing here at the dawn of a new age and we need to figure out the way all on our own, because everybody who knew how to do it, is dead. People are looking to me to find a way out of this mess and to be quite honest, I am the last person who is qualified for the job.”

They both looked at each other for a moment. Then Hux broke the silence.

“Well, fuck.”

Poe snorted and looked up at Hux, who grinned back at him.

“And here I thought my situation was messed up.”

Poe shook his head, smiling. “You really are an asshole, right?”

Hux smiled a tired smile. “As I live and breathe.”

They both started to chuckle and then laugh at the absurdity of their situation until:

“You actually named a ship after me, Dameron. That’s some sentimental shit.”

“Don’t let it get to your head, it needed a name.”

“Well, good to know somebody missed me, though.”

“Careful now, I might just leave you on the next planet.”

“You woldn’t.”

“You don’t know what I would or wouldn’t do, Hugsy.”

“I know you better than you think, Dameron. I studied you. Your combat tactics, your fighting style.”

“Did you now? So who has missed whom?”

“Don’t flatter yourself. You were one of the few people fighting for the Resistance, we couldn’t quite figure out. But then I did: you are impulsive and hot headed. You decide a lot based on intuition. And you are reckless.”

Poe sighed. “I was. They try to get that out of me by giving me responsibilities.” He made a face.

Hux looked at him for a long time, then he shrugged. “For all intends and purposes, they could have chosen a worse leader. And believe me when I say that, I am speaking out of experience.”

They sat in silence a while longer, but funnily enough, it wasn’t as uncomfortable as the silence in the cockpit had been. Poe looked at the former general a little closer. He seemed so much younger than he remembered him. He had been all sharp edges and clear cut, in his black uniform during their last encounter, but some of the edges had been taken away by defeat. He was weraing soft clothes, dark brown pants and a dark grey, woolen pullover. His face looked softer due to the beard and his hair that fell softly into his face. There wasn’t much left of the cold figure that had been General Hux. He looked human.

“Hugs, why didn’t you come with us, back on the Steadfast? You knew they would figure out that you are the spy. You are too clever not to know.”

There was a cold fire burning in Hux’s eyes. “Because I did not want to have anything to do with your filthy little Resistance. It is true, I wanted Kylo Ren and his laughable pseudo-religion to fail, but I never wanted the Resistance to win. I was ready to die, because I knew I was destroying everything I once believed in and worked for. I knew, it was corrupted by the people I hated, but still. It was what I had been working for all those years.”

Poe frowned. “So, you wanted to die?”

“Yes.” Hux turned his back to Poe and looked out of a window into the depth of space.

“But why wear a blasterproof…”

“Because I am weak and was too afraid to actually die!” Hux’ raised voice interrupted Poe impatiently. His fist hit the frame of the window. Then he turned around, cheeks reddened by… defeat? Embarrassment? Poe couldn’t tell.

They looked at each other, another stalemate.

“Well then, Hugsy, welcome to the chance of building a better universe.” Poe chuckled.

“Don’t call me Hugsy, you imbecile.”

“You owe me one, Hugsy, I will call you whatever you want.”

Poe could feel Hux’ eyes piercing into the back of his head as he returned to the cockpit. This was going to be interesting.

When he returned to the front of the ship, he could see that he had missed out on a lively discussion between Rose and Chewie about tuning the Falcon once they got back to it and they were just about to come back around to the old hyperdrive issue.

“Has that thing ever worked right? I feel like it is part of why the ship is capable of doing everything it does.” Poe threw into the room.

“It’s a piece of junk held together with good intentions and with an amazing navigational system.” Rose said calmly.

Chewie growled that she should not talk like that about things she didn’t know and that the Falcon had served him and Han well. Poe shook his head and looked at Finn.

“So, what do you think?”

Finn shrugged. “I am pretty happy when I am finally able to settle down on a planet and don’t have to travel around in starships anymore. Or at least not that often.”

Poe caught the flash of surprise on Rose’s face, before she asked: “Oh, where did you think of going?” while Chewie still growled on about the qualities of the Falcon and that Rey was the only one who properly appreciated it.

Finn shrugged. “I am still trying to figure out if there are databases on where they took us from. I would love to know where I am from. I just… I can’t remember anything before the First Order. But imagine, if somewhere in the galaxy, I still had a family. Maybe parents or siblings…”

Chewie growled something about how that had turned out for Rey, but was quieted by a sharp glance from Rose.

Poe looked at Finn with a sad smile. “I trade you homeplanet for responsibilities. You are welcome to go to Yavin IV on my behalf and tell them I won’t be their senator any time soon.”

Rose’s eyes darted from one to the other. “So, this is it? We just split up after all that we went through together?”

It was Finn who looked at her confused. “I always thought you wanted to return to the Otomok system and help rebuild it.”

Rose sighed. “That was in an old life, where I still had a sister. Now you guys are my family and I would like to help rebuild more than just one system with you. We have an opportunity here to help rebuild the entire galaxy! But now everybody seems to be going their own ways and…I’ll be losing you guys as well…”

Finn went over and wrapped her up in a hug. “You are never going to lose us. We are always just a com call away.”

Poe however shrugged. “But isn’t that how all stories end? The heroes save the day and then get to go home and live the rest of their lives in peace and quiet?”

Finn snorted. “Like you could do that. I can already see you in your X-wing chasing after former First Order members, First Order loyalists and breaking up rebellions against the Alliance on former First Order worlds.”

Poe sighed. “I don’t know. The world has changed from black and white to a lot of greys in the last couple of months. And it might be a while before we get out of our roles of acting generals.”

Rose freed herself from Finn’s arms and went over to Poe, only to lay a hand on his arm. “So, I get to keep you for a little while longer?” Poe turned his head to her and beamed.

“As long as you will have me. But coming from you, this rebuilding business sounds like one big adventure, I might be giving it a shot.”

Rose smiled. “And the best thing is, we can choose the roles we want to play. We can be who and what we want to be now.”

Finn sighed. “And I can’t possibly leave the two of you to your own devices, so I guess we won’t be splitting up that soon.”

Rose looked from one to the other and smiled. Then, from the pilot’s seat, they heard Chewie growl.

Poe rolled his eyes. “Yes, we might need your skills as a mechanic, but no, our main goal is not to crush the Falcon in as many ways as we can.”


End file.
